You made me cry and you don't even care
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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