Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
