You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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