If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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