he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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