i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
