My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Holy shit dude........stairs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
