I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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