oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
3pm strippers are depressing
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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