I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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