well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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