Best friends brother. Beat that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
