Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
