A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
