We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
