he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
my liver is dry heaving
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
