covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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