i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
