Moan for me like Helen Keller
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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