HIV tests are more positive than that guy
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
