he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You did what with his pubic hair?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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