So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
