i just had sex bonerless
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
