hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
