ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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