Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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