And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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