When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
