ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
