The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
