ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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