My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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