That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
