are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
