white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this will be a night to untag.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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