he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
