I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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