Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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