my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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