His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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