Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
