No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
