i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
