Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
