why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
