Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
