So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
