after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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