I'll bet she douches with gravy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
