Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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