Me too!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
