I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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