remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
