her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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